Welcome! This week’s post on How to Improve your Marriage: Excercise #2 is a continuation of our previous lesson. Both activities as well as the ones to come, are founded on bringing positivity back into your marriage.
Why is positivity so important? Let me share in example. During my college career, I attended a class where we played a simple game with a profound moral. The professor sent two volunteers outside while the rest of us decided on an item that would be “it.” I can’t remember what the object was, probably someone’s pen that we hid inside the room.
The first student returned and we cheered and clapped every time he took a step in the direction of the item. Within twenty seconds, he had the object in hand. He replaced the item and then we ushered in the second student.
Instead of giving positive praise by clapping and cheering, we booed and hissed. For every wrong step we snarled. Every glance away received a jeer. By the end of a minute the student had enough. She sat in the middle of the floor for the next thirty excruciating seconds while we continued our tirade. She curled into a tighter and tighter ball until the professor called quits.
So, from this simple exercise, we learned that positive responses encourage positive results. Negative responses stop everything positive and create problems. I knew I through in that word positive too many times, but it’s important. If you want to improve your marriage, then bring positivity back into your marriage. And you can do that step by step with my easy, weekly marriage excercises.
A Simple Step to Improve your Marriage
This week’s activity starts with a simple question. It’s designed to open conversations. The trick is to not allow negative comments during this activity. President Russell M. Nelson of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints recently spoke about creating safe-havens. He says “… as turmoil rages around us, we need to create places where we are safe.” It’s likewise essential to create safe conversations in our relationships.
The more we cultivate safe topics and try and apologize when we make mistakes, the more those havens can grow and spill into the harder conversations.
To encourage this growth you can ask this simple question: What do I do that you like? Give your spouse time to answer. It might be days. You’re probably catching them off guard. Give them the time and space they need. Tell them their answer is important to you. Be willing to accept their answer, whatever it is, whether it seems small or insignificant to you. It might be very important to them. Be willing to answer that question too. Look deeply and find as many things you like about your spouse and share them today and tomorrow and every day.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this week’s How to Improve your Marriage: Excercise #2. Don’t forget to check out last week’s activity and come back next for more.